Comparisons

Glad.

Choose your comparisons wisely

Many of our feelings of satisfaction or dissatisfaction have their roots in how we compare ourselves to others. When we compare ourselves to those who have more, we feel bad. When we compare ourselves to those who have less, we feel grateful. Even though the truth is we have exactly the same life either way, our feelings about life can vary tremendously based on who we compare ourselves with. Compare yourself with those examples that are meaningful but that make you feel comfortable with who you are and what you have.

Joe is the oldest of 6 brothers. The brothers range in age from 21 - 42. His family never had a lot of money, and the older brothers especically grew up in modest circumstances. When they finished high school, Joe and the two older bothers went to work. When the three younger bothers finished high school, however, they went to college. The older brothers feel like they missed out. Since financial aid wasn't as plentiful, they really didn't have a chance to get more education.

If they compare themselves to their younger brothers, Joe and the older brothers may feel disappointment and jealousy. They may ask, Why did they get the opportunities i did not? But if they compare themselves to many of their friends - men their age, men who had similar opportunities - the brothers see that they have more than most of their friends in terms of job satisfaction and a fulfilling family life.

Of course, Joe would gain no advantage by depriving his younger siblings of their opportunities. But he still feels bad when he compares himself to them. The answer, then, is not to make that comparison. The younger brothers grew up two decades later, in a different world and in many respects in a different family. Instead of disappointing themselves by making this comparison, Joe and the older brothers can feel good about both their younger brothers and themselves when they make a more realistic comparison to those who faced the same challenges as they did.

A large group of students was given a word puzzle to solve. Researchers compared the satisfaction of students who finished the puzzle quickly or more slowly. Students who finished the puzzle quickly and compared themselves with the very fastest students came away feeling dissatisfied with themselves. Students who finished the puzzle more slowly but compared themselves with the slowest students came away feeling quite satisfied with themselves and tended yo ignore the presence of the quick- finishing students.

Luck!

moody.

Have you ever think when our luck will be gone? like one fine day you have used up all of your luck. or your luck is never replenish after like you have used up for the past 10 years? Have you wonder why luck come and go like singapore MRT? sometimes you can get real lucky in a day and everything went so smooth sailing but some days you can forget about it like mahjong, getting a bad hand and hopes that particular rounds ends quickly.

i will miss my SW classmates and i think i will miss them badly.

• the pretty Azi,
• the muai thai master mr Apachai, Jackson
• the ms. gf number 1, TWT
• the funny, Zul
• the funny but not funny,Tang en
• the everything also want and yong chun yuan, Kenneth
• the sleep round the corner, Gab
• the religious, Rach
• the going to be father, Kenny
• the stress man, Wei teck
• the babe, Denise
• the wordy, James
• the sprinter, Daryl
• the mahjong queen, Doris
• the cool, Eunice
• the shaker, Farhan
• the speedy, Raymond
• the lifeguard, Huai xin
• the theories, Andy
• the not so tall man, firdauz
• the tatooist, Charmain
• the actress, Beiyi
• the biker, Khai
• the virgin, Razean
• the defender, Bing
• the mother, Isa

i think thats about it? and of course the best lecturer Mr. Lionel Teo, the big show Mr. Wong and the counseller Ms. Prema. you bet i will miss them..

You dont have to win everytime

Ultracompetitive people, who always need to win, end up enjoying things less. If they lose they are very disappointed, and if they win it's what they expected would happen anyway.

Richard was running for reelection as president in 1972. He directed his campaign staff to take all avaliable measures to win as many votes as possible. Most famous, of course, were the break-ins they staged at Democratic Party headquaters in the Watergate building in order to plant bugging devices. But staff workers also engaged in an endless series of what Richard himself labeled 'dirty tricks.' They would call up pizza par;ors and order a hundred pizzas to be delivered to the office of an opposition candidate. They would hand out phony fliers telling people that an opponent's rally had been canceled. They would call meeting halls and cancel reservations opponents had made for events. Why did they do these things? Richard was obsessed with winning - at all cost.

The great irony was that Richard was winning anyway and didnt need any of these tricks. But his inability to deal with the possibility of losing caused him to pursue these extreme methods and ultimately cost him the prize that he had so desperately pursued.

Competitiveness can preclude life satisfaction because no accomplishment can prove sufficient, and failures are particularly devastating. Ultracompetitive people rate their success with lower marks than some people rate their failures.

Thurman 1981.

keeping opinions to yourself

anxious.

Your life has purpose and meaning.

you are not here just to fill space or to be a background character in someone else movie. consider this: nothing would be the same if you did not exist. every place you have ever been and everyone you have ever spoken to would be different without you.

we are all connected, and we are all affected by the decisions and even the existence of those around us.

take the example of Peter, an attorney in Philadelphia, and his dog, Tucket. Tucket was very sick. Gradually he was becoming paralyzed by a tumor on his spinal cord. Peter could not find a vet who could save his dog. Desperate to find someone who could help, he turned to a pediatric neurosurgeon. the doctor agreed to try to help Tucket, and in return he asked Peter for a donation to the children's hospital he worked in.

Jerry has never met Peter or Tucket. Jerry is a blue-eyed, blond-haired, 5 year old boy who loves to eat marshed potats. Jerry also has tumors on his spine and in his brains. With the help from the donation Peter mmade to the hospital, Jerry underwent successful surgery performed by the doctor to remove the tumors. Tucket surgery was also a success.

Studies of older americians find that one of the best predictors of happiness is whether a person considers his or her life to have a purpose. Wothout a clearly defined purpose, 7 in 10 individuals feel unsettled about their lives; with a purpose, almost 7 in 10 feel satisfied.

Someone once told me to keep your opinions to yourself. well said. because if other did not ask for your opinions, USUALLY they are not interested in your opinions. it will only turn out to be a fool blabber doing what he is best at. so it is a good learning point for me in my life.

Catholic High number 9: kill of unity sec bball with his 3 pointers many years ago in Toa Payoh sport hall. even till now many still remember and of course as a player, i remembered too. Today, we are in the same class and even having meals together. Can you imagine? i cant. haha. on court is a different thing. he is a nice guy, a malaysian and play good basketball. haha. (now i know PR must also serve NS)

Apologise

tired.

How often do you hear someone who is elder say sorry to you?
Lets say your mom or dad say sorry to you? very seldom isnt it?

But today, my aunt did it. And i have picked it up from her. The story is...
my uncle and my aunt came over to my house for dinner. As always when they reached, i will greet them. but my aunt was busy looking at certain information from her child and miss the greetings from me. only my uncle response.

But a few minutes later, my aunt apologise to me, saying she didnt notice i was greeting her. I am surprise, really. it is not difficult for someone to say i am sorry but it is difficult to hear it from someone, especially from someone whom we respect. therefore in future remember to apologise first, it will always be nice to the other who is recieving it.

this lead me to think someone or many of them in SW0602 is HYPER DEFENSIVE. no matter what we say, either it is a joke or we really mean it, they tend to be very touchy and got hyper defensive about it. i have never hear them apologise about their behaviour. this is something maybe everyone should be aware. must we really get agitated because of a statement that someone is just joking about it?

recently i got several good books to share. you know, technology makes wonder. just download, print, spend $2- $4 to get it bind, and it became a book. Fantastic. And recently i have a book named Feeling good: 100 ways to feel better everyday. some of the ways really works but we cant simply follow all 100 ways. haha. feel free to borrow from me.

I hate this feeling. the not-motivated to work on projects feeling. my group mates are wearing success oriented boots while i feel i am lagging far behind them. just simply not able to produce the work like i used to. just want to sleep and rest everytime. This is distorting because i need to produce works that the group needs. My health and wellness project isnt giving me any help at all. seems like the module objective is to help people however, it does not help those who are working on it. the Killer Last 2 weeks is happening now...

ok thats all for today. hopefully sunday MJ is a fun thing. TWT make her DEBUT appearence on the MJ table. Interested parties please sign up for seats or can call 18oo-sistic for more information. WAHAHAHA

Clams

Happy!

all right let me tell you guys why i am happy. it is simply because Liverpool beat Chealsea 2-0. i am an easy guy because if liverpool wins a match, it makes my day! haha. so TWT, this first msg is for you because you feel my blog talks about soccer and you will give me the 'chey' face. haha

people are like clams. if they can fit each other, they are meant to be together. how true is this statement? perfect. even cooked clams are still attached to one another. in life there are things you should but may not want to do. on the contrary, there are things you want to but shouldnt do.

today went to chalet initially wanted to play bball but it seems boring without opponents so i pack and went home. in the mean while, find people play mj. wha i tell you, can vomit blood. no one wants to play!! so sick of finding players. better recuit some. haha. so went to meet TWT go suntec and marina to see people draw the gates and close their shop. haha. but i tell you, so funny our conversaion. haha. laugh until fall down. plus the last minute train! haha.

took up a coaching course and it starts today! great..

all right, thats all for today!!